Adoption Letter

When writing an adoption letter in the profile you create, it's important to readjust your thinking for a moment. Nelson Handel, author of Reaching Out: The Guide to Writing a Terrific Dear Birthmother Letter, says it well: "First, you must understand that your goal is to connect with a birthmother, not a child. If you are looking to adopt a newborn, you can't pick your child; you can only pick your child's birthmother. After all this time hoping for a baby, suddenly you must hope for an adult, and that's a change in consciousness. To find the baby that's meant to be a part of your family, you must connect with the birthmother who is right for you."

With guidance from books like Handel's and your adoption professional, you will find your style. Some prefer not to address a letter to "dear birthmother" since it may be a couple, they may not feel like "birthparents" yet (a word that is often interpreted to mean relinquishment has already occurred), or you may not be comfortable with that form of address. But your letter is your introduction - not only to a woman or couple thinking about adoption for her/their child, but to their families and friends as well.

And the outcome? For Handel: "After finishing the letter, we paid a fee to have it listed among hundreds of others online in an Internet registry. It proved to be the right place for us. Our birthmother, who said she read more than 100 letters online before calling us, told us she liked our sense of humor, our quirky unconventionalism, and our honesty. As we got to know her, we grew to love the same things about her, too. Our son, Charlie, was born on May 8, 2001. We were there for the birth, and there were lots of smiles, hugs, laughter, and just a few tears to welcome him into the world." (Read more.)